I work in the store component of a local brewery. A man walks over, looking mildly confused.
Customer: “Hey, do you have anything normal? You know, like just a regular beer?”
Me: “We’ve got some lighter lagers if you’re looking for something more traditional.”
Customer: “I mean like… Bud Light. Or Heineken. This stuff’s all weird and got animals.”
Me: “Those are the local breweries. The moose is a brown ale, and the raccoon’s an IPA.”
Customer: “I just want to drink something… normal.”
Me: “Well, you’re in a craft beer shop. We kind of specialize in weird and wonderful.”
Customer: “You’re not any cooler just by drinking weird hipster beers, you know that?”
The next customer in line starts to speak up in a mocking voice.
Next Customer: “My name is Mr. Dude McBro! Give me whatever tastes as boring as I am and doesn’t challenge my masculinity!”
Customer: *Swinging around.* “Mind your own business!”
Next Customer: “I want a beer, and your fragile-ego dithering is delaying it. Now go find a local Walmart and buy something that’s as bland as you are and let me order my beer!”
Customer: “F****** hipster douchebags!” *Storms out.*
Next Customer: *To me.* “Your most emotionally complex beer, please!”
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