My three-year-old brother has developed a pretty bad biting habit. He’s bitten both of our parents and his siblings several times, and he will even bite the animals, who now entirely avoid him.
We’ve taken him to doctors, checked his gums, and consulted the grandparents and older relatives. We’ve tried crying to convey the hurt, telling him to stop, putting numbing gel on his gums where teeth are still coming in, and buying him things he’s allowed to bite. We’ve tried timeouts, rewards, and punishments. Nothing is working. He will just grab a limb and bite down, and it’s clear he’s doing it for his own enjoyment; he smiles every time he lets go.
Mom: “This is driving me crazy. It started when he was teething, but now he just likes doing it. The doctor said he’d grow out of it, but it’s been nearly a year! He’s supposed to go to daycare next year. What if he bites another kid?”
Me: “Depends on how badly he hurts the kid and how often it happens. He could get kicked out.”
Mom: “Of the only daycare in town. I don’t know what else to do. He doesn’t use the teethers I’ve gotten him, the doctors shrug at me, and I’m covered in bite marks. No one will babysit him anymore, either — not after he bit the last one.”
Me: “Leave him with me today while you run errands. I’ll watch him.”
Mom: “He’ll bite you.”
Me: “I know.”
A few days later, Mom calls me, amazed.
Mom: “He hasn’t bitten anyone in three days!”
Me: “Hey, it worked.”
Mom: “What was it? How did you get him to stop?”
Me: “I bit him back.”
There is a pause.
Mom: “You… what?”
Me: “I bit him back. Not hard, but enough. He was very shocked. Did the same thing next time. He didn’t bite me for the rest of the day. So, next time he bites you, bite him back.”
Mom: “I can’t believe you would do that to a child!”
Me: “Nothing else was working, and I didn’t hurt him. He was shocked but fine. I think he doesn’t really understand that it hurts us, but doing it back to him got the message across.”
Mom was mad at me for a while, but word got around. Suddenly, people could hold [Brother], or even sit beside him without being bit. He learned very quickly that biting anyone would result in him being bitten back.
Mom fretted about it for months after, saying it was awful of us to do, but in the same breath, she would be grateful that [Brother] had finally stopped biting.
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