When people start a relationship, they often see how much they have in common and how perfect each other seems to be. During this infatuation stage, it’s hard for someone not to feel like they’ve lucked out because every little thing their partner does is magic. And while some folks can never stop feeling lucky, it’s a little more complicated as a relationship goes on.
Eventually, girlfriends and boyfriends will see how they differ. And when their conversations get weird enough, it can seem like they’re from different planets. Although these communication gaps may be frustrating for them, they’re pretty funny for everyone else.
When they’re sick, all that machismo goes out the window
The can grunt and chop all the wood they want but once a little cold creeps up, it’s like they’re suddenly eight years old again. Well, minus the part where they call people “bug.” That seems to be a cute little quirk of this relationship.
Oh and in case it sounds like a serious illness is being trivialized here, it turns out a little cold was exactly what this guy had. He tested negative and his body temperature was 98.7 degrees. He probably could have gone upstairs just fine and probably put a sweater on while he was at it.
The only appropriate response
Based on how aggressively this guy opened, it seems pretty safe to assume he’s an ex-boyfriend. But even with the knowledge, it’s a little hard to understand what he’s trying to accomplish here. Maybe his ex knows and maybe she doesn’t, but it doesn’t matter.
That’s because whatever game he’s playing here, he’s playing it alone. Anyone who’s this desperate to hear his ex say she hates him would probably get more out of a therapy session than annoying her with texts. And once it becomes the therapist’s job, it stops being the ex’s problem.
The right pet name isn’t always the expected one
While there’s something funny about the fact that this heartfelt message comes after “bleh,” the context behind this makes it even sweeter than it seems. Reddit user Janey_Do says that due to some past trauma, she hates waking up alone.
Since her husband has to get up early, he always sends her these sweet texts to help her feel better about it. That’s obviously very heartwarming, but it seems some commenters were surprised by how badly they now wanted to be someone’s “sweet bumble bee.”
What was he expecting?
It’s always awkward when one person moves on from a relationship much slower than the other. That’s especially true when someone’s happy to live their life only to get random messages from the ghost of relationship past.
Considering that this one’s been carrying his torch for over a year, it’s hard not to be impressed with the patience on this woman. It sounds like he got the hint, but if any further messages like this come, it seems more efficient just to send “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift.
Protect this innocence at all costs
Call the guy receiving these texts immature, but everyone who knew what was so funny is just as bad. And really, this demonstrates the value of the friend who giggles like a kid whenever they catch someone saying something dirty. If it doesn’t make them laugh, it’s perfectly professional and OK to send.
It’s hard not to hope that this woman’s husband never reveals what was so weird about her message. She just wants a bigger shelf and thinks that a black one would match the room’s color scheme better. She’s perfect the way she is and nobody better corrupt her.
This is an oddly green flag
Anyone who’s in a relationship and gets texted their partner’s random shower thoughts can take comfort. It’s hard to find a better sign that’s someone’s comfortable in a relationship than when they text whatever just popped into their heads out of nowhere.
That said, this guy seems to be on to something here. No matter how weird and apropos of nothing he’s being, he’s going to have a hard time being weirder than the human body. For some reason, they have to start with an appendix but they can’t make it easier to eat and talk at once.
Well, it’s a good thing that’s settled
In the movies, breakups are usually such a dramatic affair. They can be angry or heart-wrenching depending on where the filmmakers are going with the scene, but whatever emotion is at the heart of things, it’s always a big one.
And sure, that can certainly happen in real life. But a lot of the time, it looks more like this. That would have been a crappy night if she was really broken up about it, but Blake’s silence seems to be more of a minor inconvenience than anything. No wonder this relationship ended.
Putting it in terms that he can understand
They often say, “Better late than never,” but in this woman’s opinion, it’s clear that this doesn’t mean late is that much better than never. And from the sounds of the timeline she’s hinting at here, it sounds like she has a point.
According to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Tom Brady retired from their team on February 1, 2022, and the BBC reported on his divorce on March 23, 2023. In other words, this woman’s ex waited more than 13 months to apologize to her. If he didn’t understand how much he hurt her before, this frame of reference should definitely do the trick.
Let’s not go overboard, here
Even though he’s only said six words, it’s already easy to tell how smooth this guy is. He’s modest and understated when his girlfriend breathlessly tells him how much she adores him and he gets right to the point when things get too weird.
Although it’s generally true that “calm down” is one of the riskier things anyone can say to a girlfriend, let’s make an exception in this case. Honestly, that’s a gentle response when she starts talking like she’s from The Silence Of The Lambs.
The only winning move is not to play
With each new text, this woman is doing a fantastic job of explaining why she isn’t getting a response. And that goes double if he was genuinely occupied with something else and is only getting hit in the face with this wall of insecurity now.
They always tell people to show their work in math class, and in fairness, this girlfriend showed every part of her thought process here. Of course, that doesn’t make the jump from “Are you cheating on me?” to “Are your plans for the day an elaborate way to subtly call me fat?” any less of a logical leap.
It really does happen that quickly
While some people can follow this lovey-dovey train of thought through every station, others are a little more easily distracted. That is unless their future together involved a lot more frogs than she might have expected. Perhaps it’s not impossible to see the importance of that question.
If she has beef with the noble frog, it’s not the greatest sign that she’s easy to get along with. After all, a frog is just minding its own business and happily ribbiting. That said, it seems nobody has to be worried because she said in a Reddit comment that she loves frogs.
Well, it’s the thought that counts
Part of being in a relationship is the art of figuring out what to say when faced with a completely random text from a partner. While it is certainly unusual to find a rogue piece of cheese on a stairwell, the strangest thing was the question the guy paired it with.
Either there’s some fine technique of stair-aging cheese that this boyfriend happens to know about, or he’s being a bit silly because why would anyone need this? Oh wait, he said, “Stare cheese.” Maybe he’s worried she’s getting eye strain and needs a piece of cheese to focus on. No, that doesn’t make any sense either.
Aww, that’s so sweet. At least, it seems like it.
There we have it, folks! Thesauruses aren’t just for sprucing up essays to make it seem like they weren’t written at the last minute anymore. They’re also for adding a little class and sophistication to those special messages of love.
Even though this message stopped making sense at the end, the important part is that someone was very touched by the loquacious text his wife sent. She’s like Emily Dickinson if Emily Dickinson didn’t know what the word “intrinsic” meant.
Note to all exes: Nobody is fooled by this
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for exes to try and find some excuse to compel their former partners to visit their homes. Once they do that — as the logic typically goes — they can make their attempt to try and convince their ex to either take them back or share a night together that they’ll end up regretting.
However, those who try this tactic usually have a more substantial bargaining chip than a sock. Even a sock with a special design can be replaced and that’s not usually the kind that most people leave behind. Nobody’s going to walk into the Den of Awkward for something they can get at Walmart.
He’s always there to pick her up
Reddit user heethhark explained that she has a tendency to sleepwalk and to eat in her sleep, which led her to not only leave Swiss cheese lying around but also to take a bite out of a raw hamburger patty.
Although she initially thought her husband had made the latter decision, the Swiss cheese told her everything she needed to know about how she spent the night. And while she felt down on herself for this unconscious habit, her husband only reaffirmed how much he loved her.
English is hard
It can always be a little challenging when there’s a language barrier in a relationship, but those little mix-ups can often lead to some funny misunderstandings. And sometimes, they provide a little levity in an otherwise tough situation.
While it was obviously concerning to hear about the growths in this woman’s mother’s liver, it made the giggles harder to suppress when she struggled to spell the word that signals her problem wasn’t as serious as they feared. Although he wanted to wax romantic, this loving boyfriend finally put her out of her linguistic misery.
This guy just handed every boyfriend keys to a kingdom
Those who haven’t had their girlfriends subject them to the “Would you love me if I was a worm?” question rarely know what’s about to hit them. After all, the less they want to engage with the question, the more likely their beloved is to assume the answer is “no.”
However, this man was clever and curious enough to ask some follow-up questions instead. And of course, that little terrarium comment made him go from boyfriend material to husband material. The real genius of it is that this probably would have been his answer so matter which bug she chose.
Fun with pareidolia
If there’s one thing that people in relationships learn quickly, it’s that sometimes, you’ve just got to let them have their fun. This locker doesn’t mean look that much like the guy this boyfriend is referencing, but it doesn’t really matter.
And judging by the color of the text blocks, every part of this series of messages and pictures was just him going through a little script with handy visual aids. His girlfriend’s a patient woman because it must have taken some time to grab all those images just to make a tenuous connection.
Got to love a guy who just rolls with it
It’s almost unfortunate that this was a mistake because there’s some real comedic genius in effectively saying, “That sounded weird. Let me say something even weirder.” It’s also pretty great that her phone thought the problem was that she didn’t add a random accent to “colon.”
Honestly, it was probably the phone that made her write “colon” instead of “cologne” in the first place. Look, phone, this couple isn’t taking suggestions about their relationship, especially ifthat’s what’s being suggested. That said, the guy’s little winky face seems to suggest that’s not off the table. Good to know?
What’s the logic here?
In the middle of a perfectly normal conversation, this guy’s girlfriend sent him a one-second audio file with no context. However, it seems she immediately warned him against playing it because she had apparently sent him the sound of one of her farts.
Why? That’s a great question. Why warn him against listening to it? An even better question. However, it seems like she’s found the right one because he was clearly too busy laughing to ask either of them. Ah, true love.
It’s nice to see her engage with his interests
While Reddit user ThrottleTwister was at work, his girlfriend texted him out of the blue with some screenshots from a particularly tense Fortnite session. And based on her panicked tone, it sounds like a game he’s had far more experience with than she has.
Although he wasn’t too helpful, he seemed stunned that she was not only playing it but that she had gotten as far as she did. She ended up coming in second overall, which is definitely an accomplishment for someone who can’t shoot as well as she can hide. It’s just nice to see the beginning of something they can share.
Well, at least they seem to be on good terms
The last thing that most people would ever want is to get a text from their ex but this exchange seemed to go about as well as it could’ve. It’s unclear what brought this message on, but he seemed to have nothing but nice things to say to her.
And while she sounded like appreciated it at least on some level, that was way more serious than she wanted it to be. But while that parting “boo” is definitely charming, the best part of this exchange is the typing bubble at bottom left. Any guesses on how he responded to that?
Was The Surprise Ruined?
Okay, this one could be the delivery company’s fault or the person who ordered it. Sometimes when you make an order, your instructions are printed on the package, and there isn’t anything you can do about it (unless there’s a checkbox asking to eliminate it).
If that was the case, we’re sorry to Nicole Davies from the UK. Still, this is pretty hilarious, we have to admit. We wonder if her mom saw it before she had a chance to hide it away!
He Got A Dress Instead
When summer arrives, a tank top is always beautiful to have in your closet for those warm sunny days. Thankfully, we have Amazon to help us order one in a jiffy (unless your name is Jeremy Russel Priola).
Priola ordered a “tank top,” but received this. “I got this tank top on Amazon, and they sent me a dress. On the plus side, it does make my [expletive] look great,” Priola wrote on his Facebook.
That’s Not What She Expected
For many people who have to buy or rent an outfit for an important event, the best bet is to go to the store and pick it out yourself. That way, you can try it on and see how it fits.
The last thing you want is to order something online and when you try it on, it looks nothing like you expected. This poor woman got duped by the internet, but now she knows better.
This Cat Isn’t Thrilled
The last thing any cat owner wants to do is to disappoint their precious feline. Well, it’s not like they can ask for specific toys, but if they could, the kitty here would be furious.
“Note to self… check the dimensions of EVERYTHING before ordering on Amazon,” a Reddit user captioned this picture. The little one looks like he or she doesn’t know what to do with that tiny toy. To be fair, we don’t know either.
It’s Not An XL
This man wanted to be Spider-Man (who doesn’t?) but instead, he got Spidey’s less capable cousin. The image on the box looks perfect for a guy his size, so it’s unfortunate it didn’t live up to expectations.
Sure, if he wants to save the day, he can still do that because no one can see under that super-tight mask. We hope he didn’t lose many brain cells taking this picture for the world to see.
Now She Can’t Clean Her Face
Do babies even use face masks? We ask that because the size of this thing screams “for babies only!” The look on her face screams “you must be kidding me!”
Either way you put it, this is an absolute fail. Typically, beauty products won’t set you back too much when purchasing online, but they got this young lady. Now, she’ll probably only buy masks from the store unless she feels like her chances are good.
Prom Fail
Prom is a teenager’s biggest night. It’s when they get to step into the world on their own and dance the night away with no worries. Making sure you have the right outfit is everything.
This poor girl didn’t get what she ordered, and it shows. The resulting dress is terrible. It looks like she has some type of pasta detailing around the top of the dress. We know she’s not happy because she didn’t even show her face for the comparison picture.
No Yeezy For You
Early in 2020, Kanye West called his Adidas Yeezy 350 Boost the “Most Iconic Shoe Of The Past 15 Years.” Perhaps that’s why this poor customer got ripped off so badly for such an expensive shoe.
If you’re going to pay that much on sneakers, you’d better hope you get the real thing. It’s kind of sad that someone did this to the guy when all he wanted was a pair of Adidas. Better luck next time, Max!
Wrong Size Chairs!
It doesn’t happen often, but the person in charge makes mistakes too. Moving into a new office requires plenty of decision making from someone. Deciding to order your chairs online is something to pay close attention to — or else.
“My boss ordered chairs for the break room last year. He, too, did not get what he expected,” a Reddit user wrote. At least he has a slight grin on his face that indicates he knows he messed up.
What’s Going On Here?
What in tarnation is this? Ordering a giant bear is already expensive, the last thing you want is to receive some creepy slender man version of a stuffed animal. This is downright terrifying, but it’s hilarious at the same time.
“Legs are awful.” “Hideous!” Those remarks pretty much sum up the devastation one would feel after getting this in the mail. It looks like there could be a human inside it! This is one ultimate bear fail.
That’s Not What She Asked For, Is It?
We have another dress buying travesty, but this time it’s with flamingos. At very first glance, you see the glaring differences, and it’s a shame they sold it to anyone like this.
The real dress might work for a little kid, but not a grown woman. If she wanted to show off her tattoos, then she can wear shorts she already owns. The piece of clothing they delivered to this lady doesn’t even have all the flowers as advertised.
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